kopi moki

Before starting this full-time gig, I had high expectations for the crew that I’m about to spend 40 hours of my week with. I’m already stressed tf out about all of my college friends moving back home, but on top of that, I have no friends in my hometown. I don’t even remember how to socialize without the structure of school and campus orgs. Now that I’m back home, I’m praying to God and the Buddha on my chain to help me out.

But I’ve been at this job for 6 months now and all I can say is: I hate my co-workers. I hate the way ask me what I brought for lunch everyday. I hate how they call me their baby. I hate how they call me quiet and shy. I think I’ve watched too many shows that hype up work friendships, so I got suck comparing my boring team to characters that aren’t even real. It creates this nightmare that I’m not making any friends in the only environment that I thought I would. And I’m not confident that I’m going to be able to make them anywhere else.

So I probably don’t actually hate them all that much. But I do hate the way that even though I get annoyed with them, I still get sad when they go on break without me. I still feel left out when they gossip amongst themselves or when I found out there’s a groupchat without me in it. I can blame it on the age difference (which there really isn’t), but I know that’s not why. So I’ll never tell my co-workers I hate them. Seems like I have other things I hate that I need to work out.